Next
by Theresalynnee
Summary: Sequel to Happenstances. What will happen to the couple that met at comic con now? Matt/OOC
1. Prologue

A/N: Not even going to try and make a long one – just a thank you. New fresh page. Just keep an open mind.

"Are you ready for all this nonsense?" Brittany asked – pinning the final strand of her hair up.

She had come to attend the gala with Rob, who was attending for Matt as an emotional support. I was attending because no one had seen the publishers face for four months. My favorite thing to reply was sabbatical, but that would suggest I'd gotten paid or even studied something.

"Only slightly," I replied. I didn't explain my anxiety about _him_ being there. I didn't need to. There was no way out of this one either, but it would be the first time I'd see Matthew in 4 months…

 _"You know he misses you. He stopped being mad – he's mostly just beating himself up now," Brittany stated over the phone. She was trying to keep her voice level because she had seen both of her friends suffer over this stupid incident._

 _"I know – Jesus… I knew hed do that. I just had no more emotion to provide after that call. I poured it all into her. Even after having spent those six months with him she still fucking got what she wanted. Again." I gritted out._

 _My body carried me through the condo on autopilot as I leapt onto the bed._

 _"Stop. He doesn't_ _ **blame**_ _you. He just doesn't understand. You didn't scream, fight, or anything. You just got a phone call and left. Just don't give up on him," she replied – her voice trembling. She was scared I'd let him go completely and in turn… myself._

 _"B, I'm okay. Just another week and I'll be back. Lutwidge is holding that Gala."_

 _"Yeah about that… things sort of changed. He was originally supposed to just be a beneficiary…" she hesitated._

 _"B… what?"_

 _"He's hosting it…"_

 _"Jesus. Christ."_

 _A/N:_ So… they're separated… I promise you'll find out what happened, but for now hang in there for the awaited reunion. Again, the prologue is featured here, but will also be posted in the new story **_Next._** Thank you to everyone who has stuck it out this long! Just made my loving husband go get me coffee. Writers block went somewhere else FINALLY.


	2. Chapter 1

A/N: There's a timeline to this! I actually know where I'm going with this one 3 Believe in all things Amelia/Matt! And guys… they haven't even had _sex_ yet. Are you excited? I am! Welcome to chapter one!

* * *

"He's nervous as _fuck_ Rob says. He's already with him," Brittany states.

"Oh, I imagine so. He doesn't think he does well with crowds, but he does," I replied – silently chastising myself for analyzing him. What the fuck did I know? I hadn't seen him in months. "What did you say the theme of this thing was again?" I asked curiously.

"I didn't," she replied.

And something in her voice alarmed me. "No, he wouldn't…"

"Masquerade."

I slammed the brush I was currently using down on the dresser and landed on the bed – not caring as to the state of my makeup or hair anymore. He was trying to punish me. And I deserved it.

"You said he wasn't fucking mad anymore," I growled out to her.

She put her hands up defensively, "Don't kill the messenger. He's not… mad. He is, however, very frustrated. You left him Amelia. No rhyme or reason. He only held on because Rob and I convinced him that you were just being insufferable, but it went on and on. Nearly 5 months he endured that. I don't want you to think that you were in the wrong, but he does have the right to know. To understand…"

She was right and I knew it… I sighed – putting my head in my hands.

"I know… I know… I just…" This was all what I was afraid of. His terribly normal transient actor life and my… well fucked up family. I was always afraid of those entwining. And here we were.

Everything that we had done together seemed so far off. It seemed like some sort of distant memory I didn't deserve to have. And fuck it had been 6 months that we lived together, 3 of which he was filming for, and then I left for 4 months. Nearly year into our relationship and we had spent less than half of it together.

"Just… try to keep it together tonight. Fall apart when we come back here," Brittany replied to my stammering.

I took her outstretched arm and got my ass off the bed to finish up. I'd opted for something simple; something that would allow me to blend into the crowd. A simple black dress, golden heels, and all that was left would be the mask. Those of which were lying on the bed.

"Come on. Grab your mask. We've got to go if we're to make it in time," Brittany said.

I grabbed each of the boxes strewn on the bed with our masks, applied a light sprinkle of perfume and grabbed my purse. This Gala couldn't be _that_ bad… It was only because Matthew was attending that I was so terrified. How he didn't hate me was beyond me. I knew I wasn't ready to face what I had done to him, but if he asked I'd try.

* * *

" _Hello, this is Brittany. I'm not available to speak at the moment, but leave a message and I will return your call ASAP."_

 _ **Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.**_

 _I tried her cell again, praying that she'd answer since I was literally fucking stranded. I'd managed to take the flight back, but I had no idea what the fuck to do after that. I couldn't go home yet, not to them._

" _Lo'?" A male voice answered groggily_

" _Oh, thank god – Rob?"_

" _Hey 'Melia. Everything alright?" He asked sounding a bit more awake._

" _No, no. Is B awake?" I asked – feeling the tears start to fall. I sank down onto the floor of the airport. I wanted to crawl inside of my own skin and never come out._

" _What happened?" Brittany immediately asked._

" _She… she went in and I'm in America. I left…" I managed to sob out._

 _There was rustling on the phone and I tried to keep my shit together. She would be here. She would come and get me._

" _Okay, I'm on my way. St. Pete/Clearwater or Tampa?"_

" _St. Pete."_

" _Do you want to call Rob so he can keep you calm while I drive. I need my GPS."_

" _No, no I'll be okay… I'm sorry B."_

" _Don't you_ _ **dare**_ _apologize to me. I will be there before you know it."_

 _We hung up and I looked at the screen of my phone, where one message sat making my stomach crawl up into my throat. He hadn't even bothered to use capitals. I'd royally fucked up._

 _please let me in_

 _-matt_

 _I let the swimming feeling of panic and anxiety crash over me. I'd left my medicine with Matt anyway. Who cared? I'd end up just like her now._

* * *

A/N: Any confusion clarification - italicized bits are all flashbacks. We should completely catch up by chapter 3. Are you leaving this with more questions than answers? Don't worry. They'll soon be answered. Take note of Amelia's personality being a bit more… rash. Less innocent. Life changes people, wouldn't you agree?


	3. The Gala

A/N: I'll let you get to it friends…

All the anxiety I felt about the night swelled to a dull ache in my heart as I looked at the building. It was _huge_. People filtered in past two official looking guards at the front and valet men ran to and from cars; trying to make the line more efficient. A line in which we currently waited.

"Thank God we don't have to park on our own. It looks like a damn madhouse. Exactly how many people are supposed to be attending this shindig?" Brittany asked, inching along in the car line.

"J said it should be about 720. They had to change venues 3 times. I would have been gone for all the ones originally planned," I replied playing with my newly done fingernails. I'd gone simple – purple with gold flecks.

We carefully stepped out of the car as Rob suddenly came approaching – handing the valet a large tip. Brittany scowled at him, but did not otherwise give any protest to his paying.

"Why don't you ladies have your masks on yet?" He inquired – pulling his own down with a smile.

"Because Amelia's going to kill me when she opens that fucking box."

I shot her a dirty look, but proceeded to open my box. I was suddenly resentful we were in a crowd full of beautiful people hiding behind masks because the one I was intended to put on gave me flashbacks of Comic Con… the trip that never was as I'd adapted the title recently. My heart sank and I looked at them both with sad eyes.

Rob approached me tentatively – grasping my hands and looking into my eyes through his own mask. "There's an alternative if you don't… he just asked me to have you wear it. He said he'd notice you behind any mask, but he wanted to see you behind this one… His," he added tentatively.

I sniffled, put my head up, steeled my eyes, and placed the mask on its' rightful place. This was _not_ going to be easy, but we couldn't just fall back to where we were. I couldn't. I'd changed in a short 4 months. Whether it was coming of some sort of age, recent events, or both that changed me I was not going to go back.

How much had he changed?

How much would we still know of each other?

Was the mask a grand gesture of peace or a tool meant to shatter my heart? Either way I _deserved_ the latter.

 _I started throwing shit into my bag – no words could provide an explanation for him. I was lost._

 _Embarrassed_

 _Terrified_

 _Furious_

 _I was suddenly thankful I hadn't refused the huge bag Matt insisted on buying for me when we'd gone to visit Paris one weekend. It fit all my new clothes comfortably. The life I'd built – no. I wasn't thinking of that right now._

 _Now I was going backwards._

 _"_ _FUCK," I cursed – stubbing my toe on the corner of the bed._

 _My phone lay scattered across the room, battery out and under Matt's foot. I wanted to let tears rise to the surface at the memory of us being on set, but I steeled my expression._

 _He couldn't fucking know. He couldn't._

 _"_ _M… please… you can trust me," he pleaded._

 _"_ _It's not about trust Matthew. This is bigger. This is every fear come to life and I'm not putting that in your future," I replied._

 _He sadly picked my phone up off the ground and I watched his beautiful eyes, once filled with so much life, now fill with tears that threatened to come spilling._

 _"_ _I won't stand between you and family, but I can't… I love you…" he sobbed._

 _"_ _Please don't follow me."_

 _Like the scenes of movies where the man went after the girl, they screamed at one another, and she stayed anyway…_

 _He let me go._

 _If there was a 'after this' event for us the ball was in my court. He wouldn't come to me._

 _After I got off the phone with Brittany and saw his message before Rob one. Knowing I was the one breaking our tethered bond of friendship for leaving him._

 _Sent: I have no right to send you this, but please… look after him. I just… I can't right now. And I'm sorry._

 _My heart crushed on the floor of that airport._

"Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank you for being here tonight," J began. The entire crowd clapped and I looked around – trying to find him. "Today we're here to celebrate this prestigious company, recognize one of our own as a bestseller, and welcome back the best editor we've seen in years. Welcome back Amelia!"

Again, the crowd erupted and I merely waved – feeling ill. I felt strong arms wrap around me and I stiffened… Turning I realized it was just Cas, my work best friend. He and his husband were here together. Blaise was, no doubt, getting into some kind of champagne trouble.

"He surely knows how to embarrass the fuck out of people, doesn't he?" Cas asked – smiling at me.

"It's good to see you," I replied hugging him to me tightly. I hadn't spoken to him when I'd left either. I left this life behind to delve to deeply into the past.

Left to crawl my way out.

"And you." He sweetly kissed the top of my head and I leaned against his shoulder listening to J talk about the newest book I'd gotten to rise to the top. He praised my networking skills, not even batting an eye at the fact that I'd actually taken _leave_. I had done this all before the leave. It was just now coming to fruition, just now when literally everything was so much different.

"Enough of my talking! I'd like to formally introduce the gracious host of this evening's Gala – Matt Smith. He generously accepted to attend after my bugging him for weeks straight!"

Everyone burst into laughter and I felt as if I could die right there. He wasn't answering because of me.

He avoided because of me.

I'd done it to him.

I closed my eyes before he stepped on stage, not able to calm the storm raging. _Four months Amelia. Four. Fucking. Months._

I am a monster.

"I can't take all the credit now!" He said less enthusiastically than the crowd perceived it. "Tonight has been well funded and all who are in attendance greatly appreciated."

He looked down nervously at his hands – fidgeting.

"Tonight we thank the um… everyone that is here obviously, but it's really about the bestseller. Blaise has floored us all with his novel. No doubt a tale that will span the test of time."

He'd found me just before he walked from the stage. The crowd was silent at his sudden departure, but then erupted into congratulations once Blaise stepped on the stage. I watched Cas with rapped fascination as he appraised his husband, love flowing so easily through his eyes.

I kissed him on the cheek and stepped away, needing to calm my nerves. Matt had looked every bit as haggard as I felt. Flighty almost. Perhaps he was afraid I wouldn't attend? _Or that I would…_

"Amelia!"

"Jesus J!

I clenched my heart and stepped back minutely as J approached me. I couldn't back out of a hug with a man who had given me leave at the drop of the hat with no more than a promise to return.

"Look at you," he reveled – holding me at arms length. "You look like you took a damn beating. Who do I have to kill for hurting my girl?"

I laughed unenthusiastically and placed my hands over his. "I promise no one J. I'm alright now, and better yet I'm back. For good."

He assessed what he could see of my facial expression and eyes before a wide smile graced his features. He was like a wolf assessing a red caped girl in the woods. Predatory. I'd think he meant no harm, but I still never wanted to be alone with him in a room.

"Come! Mingle, meet, and for godsake drink woman!"

I did chuckle easily at that and let him lead me into the main ballroom.

Within the hour more people were on the dance floor than at tables. Even Cas and Blaise had gone out to join the masses. J had walked away muttering something about needing to address a settling payment as he glared across the room at a fat man with a drink and food in both hands. I shook my head at the silliness of it all.

After all that had happened here I was back in this political and social mess. I started wondering what the people in the crowd had to worry about – making up stories in my head. It was so much unlike the last masquerade I'd attended that I was so lost in thought when a finger tapped me on the shoulder.

A once blue mask was replaced by a completely black one. Green eyes looked sadder than before. And strong arms didn't instinctively wrap around me.

 _Things had changed_.

"Dance with me?" Asked a broken voice.

I held a hand up lamely and swayed with him. I no longer thought about other dancers stories. I thought about our story. What was to become of it…

 _Days went by. Each with no text. No call._

 _And I was sickeningly thankful. I didn't want to have to explain another tragic family event to some unsuspecting person. Having to let them completely in._

 _I crushed my pillow to my chest – willing it to stay put together and not break like fucking ice shattering on the ground. Ice accidentally dropped by the child who simply wanted a cold treat, a child who was now devastated._

 _But I couldn't get another ice cube I realized._

 _I couldn't get another her._

 _I was stuck with the half piece of ice cube that was strewn about the dirty floor. My heart froze closed._

 _I wasn't ready for anyone to open it._

 _My phone rang and I slapped my hand on the back, willing it to be some 800 number calling to collect some unknown amount of debt, loan, or something. Anything would be better than…_

 _"_ _Ruggie?"_

 _"_ _Hey Mom…"_

 _"_ _Are you mad at me?"_

 _A/N:_ Yeah. The cliffhangers are strong with this one. Sorry all. Also, chapters will start increasing in length as our beloveds interact more and the plot line continues. Anyway. I'll quiet down here so I can go start typing the next one. The next two chapters are going to be… heavy. If you have any aversion to mental illness or its' affect on the family members then feel free to skip.


	4. Four Fucking Months (Matt)

_**A/N:**_ _Incredibly long here guys. This is there perspective of the four months. Pay close attention to POV switches and whatnot. Read on my lovelies 3_

* * *

 _Chapter 4_

"Thank God you're back. Cas is absolutely insufferable alone while shopping," Blaise says as he sits eating a pretzel.

"It feels weird to be back… like the person I'd made myself into while I was here is lost," I replied perhaps a little too introspectively. Blaise was nothing if not insightful though.

"You're not supposed to be the same person you were when you left honey. No one expects that of you." In an instant his hand is covering mine and I'm thankful for the familiar contact. A contact I'd been so out of reach with since leaving.

 _Four. Fucking. Months._

"It was just so surreal last night… I half expected a room number to be in my hand when he left," I mumbled.

"He looked like shit when he left… like he was cursing himself for walking away honestly. But this was heavy for you two. He doesn't know the extent of it for you."

"Because I chose not to let him in," I snarled wishing I could only lay my face on this cold table forever.

 **Ring. Ring. Ring.**

"Hello?" I asked rather uninterestedly. It was the weekend, I was at the mall with my best friends, and I didn't want any damn business calls.

"Um… Amelia? It's… It's Matt. Have I caught you at a bad time?" _Jesus talk Amelia. Talk. Tell him he hasn't. Tell him you'd drop anything for him. Talk._ "I'm sorry… I can.. I'll just…"

"NO!" I put my face in my hand cursing myself. After four months you just scream at him? Nice. "Christ, sorry Matt. I just was caught a little off guard. I didn't think you'd…"

"Yeah, me either," he clips.

 _Deserved that._

"So um… what's up?" I asked with more enthusiasm than the situation warranted.

"I just wanted to see if we could…talk? I know that's probably the last thing you wa…"

"We absolutely can," I added cutting him off. The tone of his voice suggested he was blaming himself for some part of this and that was absolutely not going to happen. No way Jose.

"Do you want to now or meet? I don't…" He rushes quickly.

"No, now isn't the right… time. Can I call you later so we can figure out when would be best?" I asked nervously biting my nails. _Way to make it sound like a fucking business meeting. Jesus._

His voice turned cold. "Yeah. Chat later."

 _Click._

"I swear to God if we weren't in the middle of a mall I'd scream fuck so loud."

Blaise rubbed calming circles on my back and I tried to relax. I needed a new pair of shoes, not to beat myself up over all this even more. Of _course_ I wanted to talk to Matt, but I had to realize he was hurt still. He had every right to be. I'd left him when we finally acknowledged that we were real, established, and built from the roots of our hearts entangling themselves with one another.

* * *

 **MPOV – The First Month**

 _Nope, she'll be back. Fuck it all._

I started picking up the things she'd randomly strewn as she packed her life here up. She had packed up her little life. The things that were mingled with my worn existence here.

She'd be back.

My phone chimed with a text and my heart jumped. I'd been staring at the same wall, unmoving for 3 hours.

 **Rob** : _She's back in the states. She's… not good. Give her some time. I'm sorry dude._

I stared at my phone's screen – unblinking. My fingers reacted on their own accord as I typed out a text to her, not answering Rob.

She'd never answer that text in the weeks to come. I did what I'd always done – worked. We finished filming and next month my life would be completely up hauled. By the 3rd week she had gone with no contact made I bought the place we'd rented. It didn't matter. She needed something to come home to.

On the last week of that month her publishing company called and I ignored all the calls – opting instead to change my phone number.

 **Matt:** _Sorry I haven't spoken to you. This is my new number. Please pass this on to Amelia in any event she may want to contact me. I was having some unrelenting calls happening. Thanks. And again… sorry._

I fell asleep before the clock turned midnight, wishing to go back a month.

* * *

 **The Second Month**

The second month was just asking to be tortured. Filming kicked my ass and I'd no one to go home to. I lived off ham and cheese and Jammy Dodgers. Drinking alone didn't even fix any feelings I had.

"Christ Matt, you look like you've lost weight _again_ ," Alex scolded me.

I hadn't. And she knew I hadn't, but she was mother bird to a bird who wasn't even pecking.

"Tell me you're alright," she added seriously.

"I am, yeah. Nothing I haven't been through before."

We said our goodbyes and a very unconvinced Alex let me go.

By the third week of that month I felt a little better. I'd gathered up her remaining things and simply placed them under the cabinet that I now refused myself the chance to use in the guest bedroom. She'd left replaceable items.

A tootbrush.

A comb.

Hair ties and bobby pins everywhere.

But what hurt the most was the damn eyeshadow. The purple eyeshadow that she'd line with gold eyeliner. It was like she was born to wear purple and gold together.

I kept care of that until the end of two months. Then I threw that out. It was too much of _her_.

* * *

 **The Third Month**

"Come on! Maybe you'll find a date!" Arthur roared.

Kazza smacked him upside the head and it felt good to be together one more time.

"I just wish I knew where she was and if she's… hurting. Ya' know?" I asked. I knew they thought I was asking if she was hurt about us, but I didn't intend that. I meant… what happened that made her leave so early? And if she was okay then who wasn't?

My head swam with possibilities for two weeks before I just began to get angry every time I thought about it.

Rob called on the last week of that month.

"Brittany just got back from seeing her," he said in a matter of fact tone.

"Mmm, did they have fun?" I asked sarcastically.

"She came home and collapsed on the bed… 4 hours ago. If she's that exhausted after one talk with her I can't imagine what…" he hummed and I knew he was shaking his head.

"Is this the first time she's talked to Brittany?"

"Yeah dude… no one has been able to get a hold of her. It was like she fell off the face of the planet after that first month. B was _pissed_. So pissed. She nearly called out the calvary, but eventually the grandparents called…"

I listened to him talk about how Amelia had shattered her phone and hadn't wanted another one. Hadn't wanted to be in contact with another human being. And I imagined Brittany being ripped into pieces. If Brittany couldn't get through to her what right did I have thinking I could?

* * *

 **The Fourth Month**

"Yes, J. I can host the Gala. Just talk to my Agent about location please. I'm rubbish at that."

"Matthew I know this is completely inappropriate of me to ask, but have you had contact with Amelia? She still has a position, of course, but we are just a little worried about her. She's our star employee," he slithered. Something about that man unnerved me and I wasn't going to give him even a hint as to anything about her.

"What did she say when she left?"

"She said she had a family emergency and that she would transfer her FMLA papers to the office over seas when she had all the paperwork scored away. She didn't mention being sick… ever," he replied. I then knew he knew about as much as I did. I should get over the way his voice practically _purrs_ out her voice.

She isn't mine anymore.

"Unfortunately I do not know the details, but I do hope she comes back to you soon. I know how valuable she is." I kept my voice as think as steel.

"Ah, well… thank you Mr. Smith," he replied clearing his throat. "I trust you know the Gala will be a masquerade?" He asked.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuckity. Fuck._

"Yes, of course Sir. Have a nice evening."

I didn't wait for his reply before throwing my phone. It was only the first week of this month. I had three more to go thinking about this Goddamn Gala.

On the second week I sat on my bed indulging in some self-pity as I took out my mask. Another arbitrary thing she had left here.

 **Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.**

"Hullo," I asked into my phone. I hadn't even bothered to look at the caller ID.

"Matt… are you in a place where you can talk?"

"Brittany?" I sat up panicked.

"Yeah… sorry it's been so long," she replied like it was her fault.

"Jesus, no. I'm glad to hear from you. I have this unlimited amount of time right now it seems. In between filming movies is surprisingly relaxing," I replied with a chuckle. I'd found myself able to do that more now, when I wasn't choosing to pity myself. I tossed the mask haphazardly and it landed on the floor next to the trash can by my desk.

 _Falling short of being gone forever_ – I mused.

"She's coming back."

"Hm? I'm sorry…" Surely I could not have caught that correctly. She must have been making fun of me saying I had a hairy back or something because if she was about to tell me…

"She's coming back. To London. We're helping move her into a studio by Lutwidge. She'll be at the Gala. We'll be at the Gala," she stated.

If I were in a better state of mind then I would have asked if she was pissed Amelia was choosing right then to come back. If I were in a better state of mind I would have been asking how Amelia was.

Was it her that was hurt when she left?

Had it anything to do with me? Us?

Was she _okay_?

"Does she need a mask?" Was what I stupidly asked instead – looking across at the mask that had tethered us together at the start.

"Send it to Rob and I'll make sure she gets the message Matt…" she replied quietly.

"Will do…" My heart pounded too fast for any living man to have to experience in the silence that followed. So many questions.

"What message should I be relaying?" She questioned.

It went unspoken. _Do you hate her? Still love her? Is this a goodbye or a hello? What was next?_

"Just be Switzerland right now. I don't… it's been four months, but it seems like four years. I don't know _what_ to tell her right now," I answered honestly.

"I can be Switzerland," she replied immediately. "Just… she's vulnerable when it comes to you Matt. Please, be careful. She can hurt you without meaning to… she did hurt you without meaning to."

I tossed that around in my head after we hung up, the mask flipping back and forth between my hands. _She hurt you without meaning to…_ She shouldn't… no… absolutely couldn't feel like she had to feel bad for putting family first.

It had taken a full four months, but finally the week of the Gala gave me some sort of instilled confidence I didn't know I had. I stepped up behind her. Her back exposed through the sheer of her simple black dress. My fingers itched to be connected with her skin. They itched to once again capture her frame in an embrace and my thumb rubbed repeatedly against my pointer finger to stop myself from doing exactly what I wanted.

I reached out to her with my left hand, just a simple prod to her shoulders. And her soft lilting voice agreed to a dance. She swayed rigidly with me through the first song, but soon she relaxed – a tentative deep exhale coursing through her body. Her breath fell across my neck.

J announced that the last song was to be played and we held one another up. We knew it didn't mean what we'd wanted it to… willed it to. But it meant something, and that was all I needed – to know there was still something.

 _I'll be a star, you keep directing me_

 _Let's make the best scene they've ever seen_

 _Let's capture the moment_

 _'Cause even forever ain't forever_

 _I swear by the moment_

 _'Cause together ain't promised forever_

 _Let's live in the moment_

 _As long as we got each other_

When she left wordlessly I watched her delicate hand slip from mine. Reality crashed down around me as I stuffed my hands into my pockets. Was I who she would want anymore?

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ _Next chapter is the four months from Amelia's POV. I'd intended to put them together, but as I was continuing her POV I thought this was the perfect ending for his. I apologize! Makes them fully meeting longer, but… they're worth it, right? See ya' next time!_


	5. Four Fucking Months (Amelia)

_**A/N**_ _: Heavy mention of mental illness and being medically baker acted. If you are not comfortable with these subjects please look for the **, which signifies where that angst has ended. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

 **APOV – The First Month**

After Brittany dropped me off I did not call her, did no text her, had not had the strength to give anything to anyone but her. The first phone call was the worst, but as we hit the end of the week they were getting better. She sounded a little less… _drugged_.

"Hi Mommey," I recited the proper greeting as I had for years.

"Hi Ruggie," she said. "You'll never believe what's been happening here." She sounded bitter.

"I bet I can't!" Enthusiasm drowned the sorrow I actually felt. This was always good, when she wanted to tell me what was happening and not just ask if I was mad at her like the first call.

She proceeded to tell me of a woman who was administered the Thorziene Shuffle after getting into a brawl with none other than… herself. "I don't belong here, but they're still making me go to group."

"I know, but you don't want to be a lifer," I answered using her favorite movie to hopefully bring a smile to her face.

"And that's why Freud's picture is on every fucking shrinks wall!" She replied quietly, but happily. "Sorry – they're probably listening into whatever I'm saying."

I shook my head… maybe not as good as we thought.

 **The Second Month**

She'd been doing fine. We had done a family dinner for the first two weeks of this month. I thought about calling Matt… apologizing. Reading all that stupid shit on sharing everything with the ones you loved **– gag.**

But this month was important because this month no one was listening in or trying to record her. This month she wasn't running all over the place just spewing about experiencing life before she dies. She wanted me to run away with her. I was the only thing that mattered to her. I always had been.

" _You're the reason I stay alive."_

She used to tell me that at 5.

The last week we got the call. She had been Baker Acted from the hospital after passing out at a Doctor's office. Med adjustment again, but this time there was no calming her down. This time they restrained her and she remained in the room. The one you see with the white padded walls. She stayed there for 24 hours straight. The months crawled away.

 **The Third Month**

This time she promised she was okay. She was good. The scars on her wrists were beginning to heal and she'd promised to talk when she went to Doctor Johnson.

 _Phew_ – thought no one.

Could we count on that? The issue was it wasn't her fault and I told her that the second week. We sat watching horror movies, a seemingly normal mother and daughter, but she still sneaked side-glances at me like I'd disappear. Like her going into the hospital the first time had something to do with my leaving.

I told myself I dropped it, but I didn't.

So when Jason finally called that last week he was in a car quicker than I could make my tears stop.

"Shhhh," he cooed as he grabbed hold of me in my room.

It wasn't intimate. I could break with him. He didn't have to deal with me for the rest of his life day in and day out.

"I read that stupid fucking message every damn day," I hiccupped through tears.

"I know you do. You're allowed to. You're allowed to have time Amelia. This is… heavy," he replied stroking my back.

I leaned back and looked at him. "Would you do it?"

He tilted his head to the side, but understanding soon focused his eyes. "I would. Especially if it was for a girl like you. You need time to sort out what you want. Why do you think you can't be with him?"

I laughed cynically.

"She might need me at the drop of a hat."

"She's your _mother_. If she needs you she can call. It's not fair of her to put your life on hold. I know she's sick, but fuck. How much can she ask of you?" He asked incredulously.

I stood up and tore at my hair.

"This is what I'm afraid of with him. I don't know how to express that she's… it's like a duty. A calling. Like I'm the only person in the world she fucking responds to and I _hate it_ ," I replied kicking the shit out of a cloths basket.

Jason didn't flinch. He didn't bat an eye. This was the fight I had to wage within myself. He was just there to guide me.

"Can you live your life and feel completely responsible for her as well? Can you be happy here?" He asked looking down at his hands. "I left my responsibility to my mother to go to Tallahassee and Amelia… look at me…"

He stepped up to me, cupping my cheeks in his hands. "You've never been happier," I replied smiling.

His light brown eyes sparkled with a mischief that hadn't been there before he left. His lips curled into a crooked smile that replaced his once reserved smile. He was touching me like he intended to spread all his happiness through our skin.

"Can you do it here?" He asked quietly.

I didn't need to answer. My body broke down into his arms. He just held me to him tightly. "You have to tell him Amelia."

"About me or her?" I asked after some time.

"Everything. I'd want to know. I know he does."

"I love you Jay. You're always the voice of reason," I said settling comfortably against him.

He placed a kiss at the top of my head and said quietly, "I know sweet girl. Sleep. I love you too."

He wasn't there when I woke up in the morning, but I felt better. That was a relationship that had always been hard to understand, but the more we dug up about one another's lives the more mutual respect and love we gained for one another. He was always there when she got Baker Acted, I was always there when his ran out of money and needed to clean his savings, and he was there when I lost my shit. That hadn't happened in a while, but he was right. Matt needed to know.

 **The Fourth Month**

I'd talked to J and he had settled plans for the Gala. And on the last week when Brittany told me it would be a Masquerade and Matt was attending I wanted to throw everything I'd thought the past couple weeks out of the fucking window. I didn't have enough strength to do this.

"Will you and Rob help me move in?" I asked.

"Duh stupid. And don't worry, we already spoke with Matt. He knows you'll be there. He just wants a chance to mull things over with you. He's up and down these days," she replied.

"Join the fucking club. I don't even know my head from my ass most days," I replied laughing.

"Yeah well… you've always sort of been that way babe!"

"Fuck off! I'll be in the airport at about 2. Are you and Rob already at his place?"

"Yeah, we've been here for a few days. Just give me a call and I'll see you then, okay?"

"Yeah… and B? Thanks…"

"Shut up chav. That's what best friends are fucking for. Although you better not pull that not talking to me shit ever again. Even just a fuck you I'm sorting through shit was better than radio silence. I love you." Her voice was laced with a heavy bit of emotion as I reiterated my sentiment of love to her and we hung up.

Looking around at my room all packed up once again gave me a renewed sense of purpose. I was meant to be there. And I hoped I was meant to be with him too.

Present Day

The shopping trip had been an absolute fucking disaster for my bank account, but not for my closet. Before I knew it time had flown to be 10:30. I felt accomplished because my closet was cleared of all the old outfits, but cursed as I fumbled around the room looking for my phone. I said I'd fucking call.

 _Damnit_.

 **Ring. Ring. Ring.**

"Hullo?"

It was like velvet hearing his voice once again…

"Uh, Matt?" I asked stupidly.

"Amelia hey…hold… shut the fuck up Art! Jesus Christ." I heard shuffling and a small giggle escaped my lips. "Hi, I'm sorry about that. Insufferable friends and all."

"Yes, I've met the mass of them Matt," I smiled. "How um… how are you?"

"I'm better now."

I heard ruffling and I wanted to ask: _are you lying in your bed? Are you in pajamas? Did you miss my voice?_

"How are you? I assume better now you're back?" There was an edge to that question in his voice. He may not still be mad, but he wasn't happy that he still didn't fully understand.

I'd rectify that.

"Yes, much. I'm sorry for calling so late. I got caught up in my closet," I said.

There were a few moments of silence before both of us began _cracking up_. I tried to catch my breath, but just the sound of his laughter left me feeling elated. It took a weight off my chest I didn't know had been pressing down.

Pressing down since the day I'd left _him._

"My, America must have done a number on you this time then M," he said.

My face fell because _boy did it_.

"Many parts of it really did."

"You know I wouldn't mind hearing a story about it sometime if you wanted…" he trailed off hopefully.

"I'm just grateful you have interest in the story I have to tell after…"

"We'll weed out all the details when we meet, but I must confess… I'd much rather meet with you in a private setting. No distracting waiters asking us if we'd like another coke or a family of 17 deciding that the only volume they know is intensively loud. If you're not okay with that then it's fine though."

"No, no that's fine. I agree. There's a lot… Where would you like to meet?"

 _Please not in this shithole_ – I begged silently.

"Do you remember your way here?"

He seemed to get shy at that. A blush crept its' way up my body as I remembered falling softly into bed with him. We never did progress and maybe this was why. Maybe we both needed to find out what we were standing on our own two feet.

I had to push out the fear of her.

I had to push out the fear of _myself_.

Fear of loving him completely.

"I do, yes."

"Five thirty here tomorrow then? That'll give me some time to clean the mancave."

I laughed lightly and voiced my agreement before hanging up.

Here I was once again going to meet Matt Fucking Smith.

I fell back onto my pillows letting my nerves take my veins hostage.

* * *

 _ **A/N**_ : THE MEETING – AHHHHHHHHHHH. So as you can see Amelia has some very real fears about her mother and herself. Leave Matt some love so he can pass some more over on to our girl 3


	6. Reunited (and it feels so good…)

_**A/N**_ _: Hello again! I hope you enjoyed the insight from the last two chapters. This chapter is heavily based on discussion. I am ending the angst. Physically hurts to write it. Hahaha! Enjoy!_

 _ **PS.** Not sure when I'll be able to update again. We are in the midst of Irma here in New Port Ritchey. We're scared, but with family! Update when I can!_

* * *

 **A:** _Hey, did you still want to meet today? I know I called you kind of late last night._

 **M:** _As long as you're still okay with it. I'd rather not pressure you._

 **A:** _You couldn't Matt. I'm more than ready to speak with you._

 **M:** _I'll be seeing you soon then Amelia just be safe getting here please._

 **A:** _See you soon!_

I didn't spend all day getting ready. I didn't spend long in the shower – just took enough time to wash my hair so it fell easily down in curls. It had gotten longer since the last time he'd seen it.

My car seemed so much smaller as I climbed in to make the trek to his house. My fingers thrummed repeatedly on the steering wheel to no rhythm in particular. It was only a fifteen-minute drive and as soon as I arrived the cold feet settled in.

No matter how much this hurt me he needed this, closure or opening. I had no idea what to expect.

I took a deep breath before knocking on his door and was pleased when he opened the door in relaxed attire as well. He wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a grey shirt. His hands stuffed into his pockets as he rocked back and forth on his heels.

"Hello."

I stood there wearing my heart on my sleeve due to the soul-bearing nature of this arrangement. "Hello."

"Come in please."

Matt ushered me in and I took in the arrangement of the living room. It was as if nothing had been touched from our time here together.

"So, not much has changed," I smiled and twirled to eye to photo of us from Universal still on his mantelpiece.

He gave a half smile before, "I really didn't… never mind that." ( _I didn't expect you'd really be gone forever. Prayed you wouldn't be_ ).

"Um, thank you for inviting me."

I was incredibly unsure of what I should be doing so I turned to face him fully.

"I wanted to apologize actually… Please, come sit."

His statement completely confused me so much that it took me watching him pat a spot on the couch to actually begin moving my cement feet slowly across the floor. _He_ wanted to apologize to _me._ What the fuck for?!

I awkwardly sat on the other side of the couch imploring him with my eyes to tell me what the hell he was talking about.

He pushed his hand through fringe and let it nearly fall back into his face. "An apology for being so hot and cold as I'm sure Rob and Brittany spoke with you when they could over the months is necessary. I was quite ungracious during our conversations before. That wasn't fair to them and consequently – you." I watched as sparkling green eyes begged for a forgiveness that was not needed.

"The apology isn't in your court Matthew. It's in mine. So much happened so fast that I'm afraid I'll never really get past it _all_."

This was the part I never wanted to _mingle_ or entwine in our lives. The part where I have to tell him the family demons span fucking _generations_.

"I know I have no right, it's your family after all, but what happened M?"

I scoffed, "what happened?" My face fell into my hands. What had happened? I failed to see her falling again? No, these were the words Jason told me not to speak. None of this was my doing. How long would it take for me to believe that?

Matt mistook my silence for frustration or aggravation. Either way he huffed out a breath.

"I'm sorry – I…"

"No, not at all. It's just," I exhaled heavily. "It's a loaded question." _And I'm steeling myself for your reaction._

 _I should just lie – I cheated on you, it's not you it's me… out of all those one had to work, right?_

A finger under my chin implored me to look up at him.

"That's why we're _home_ Amelia. Not at a fancy dinner. We're here to talk and if you still feel _that_ for me then we're here to sort it all out. It won't happen in one talk and I understand that, but a good start is at the beginning." He scooted closer and took my shaky hands in his apprehensive ones. He was trying not to move to fast.

I shouldn't have been surprised, but at the feeling of our hands entwining together a feeling of relief settled over my body. It didn't radiate far, but it was still something. He felt good, as he always had.

"The beginning…" I dumbly mumbled looking down at our hands.

"You left…" he said sadly.

To the life I'd never get away from and one that he could be a part of if he was fucking crazy enough…

"Ah, that beginning," I began sarcastically. I took a deep breath steadying myself. He didn't deserve that. "My mother was… sick."

 _You're avoiding Amelia._

"How so?" I watched as his lips moved in slow motion to ask the question I could no longer avoid.

"Sometimes her head isn't right and she doesn't catch it until it's too late."

"Schizophrenia?" He asked immediately. His eyes darted between the two of mine and searched for an answer.

"No, no nothing that serious," I chuckled cynically. It wasn't funny, but the day I couldn't try to make light of it was the day it became game over for me.

"Amelia," he began seriously. "Do you remember what I said to you the night we left Florida?"

 _When we were blissfully blinded by a clear new start at a love we'd never experienced before._

"No ones' issues should be lessened. I suspected it was something psychological based on your reactions and responses on the phone to your grandmother that night, but I didn't want to push you." His shoulders rose with a deep breath that he did not let out until he spoke again.

"I fear I must push you tonight," he spoke softly.

"No, you're not pushing. I want to tell you, but I'm afraid of what's next after this. How you'll…" _react_ , went unspoken.

"You're afraid it will alter how I feel for you?"

I nodded, "Yes." The thought of being alone again cause the first of many shudders to wrack my body.

"You needen't be," he began reassuringly. "I've been hurt, angered, and frustrated with you, but I've never lost love for you."

He cupped my cheek and looked apprehensive again. Scared like I wouldn't let him in.

"That's a kindness I don't deserve," I looked down – shamed.

"Hush. Shift up here," he said pulling me closer to him. _(I need contact with her… does she need it from me?)_

I didn't pull away. I just sat quietly for a few moments before I took a deep breath with my head on his shoulder. Grateful I wasn't looking him

"She's um, bipolar. And I may be as well. I've already been diagnosed with anxiety; which is nowhere near the same thing, but I sometimes have trouble with sadness or… anger. And that's what happened: she went to the doctor after essentially attacking Rose. She smashed glass knickknacks and cut herself repeatedly. She verbally attacked the Doctor, which is when Grandad decided he needed to have her Baker Acted."

I took a deep breath getting ready for the second half. Long enough for Matt to react. He pulled me tighter to him so that I could no longer look at him. My head was resting on his chest and I let his deep breaths guide mine.

"Amelia… I…" _(Jesus, no wonder she left)._

"Sh, just – just let me get through this, for us."

I stayed tight in his arms and willed him to listen a little closer – to understand that this was a part of _me_ too.

"The first time she was out in the normal 72 hours, but they'd changed her pills. The second time was worse. She went because she couldn't stay awake. Grammy said she lay on the bench at the office and slept. Then there was some mumbojumbo with the Insurance covering the care, so they Baker Acted her for Insurance to cover it. Well – she lost it. They called it a psychotic break. Orderlies took her to 'The Room' as she called it. She said for three days she wasn't even any resemblance of herself. They went as far as taking her clothes because she wouldn't attend group and just… talk. She wasn't supposed to be there. This wasn't her doing. She didn't understand."

 _Your grandmother did this. They're taking you away from me again. I might as well be locked up. This is pointless._

"I spoke with her every chance she got. I could gauge if she was medicated, pissed, or depressed. The anger was the hardest because she felt it at _everyone_. There was no exception this time." I sniffed, but didn't wipe at my face. There were no tears I'd already cried all of those this time.

"She's out now so…"

( _What had her mother said to her? What words did she hear with no comfort?)_

"Are… are you alright now? Being in the UK?" Her Grandparents words rung in Matt's ears as he stroked her hair.

 _She's much stronger than you'd think._

"Yeah, Jason actually made me realize I was putting my life on hold and that's not fair to anyone," I glanced up at him for a split second. His face was unrevealing. Hiding some sort of emotion.

"You are the strongest woman I know. You're mom's important to you and I realize that, but don't ever hide part of her or yourself to me if you intend to be… close with me, which I hope you do because I don't know if I…"

He placed his nose directly upon my hair and I listened to him inhale deeply. He'd be pissed if I tried to comfort _him_ right now so I spoke simply.

"Me either Matt, me either."

It didn't solidify anything. It didn't erase it all, but we could, at the very least, speak to one another now.

He was stroking my hair and stopped suddenly. "Let's have dinner."

"Dinner?"

"A proper one. A date. Texting. Scones. That bit!" He replied excitedly.

I laughed and sat up to look into his gleaming greens, which were now a deep forest green. _Interesting…_

"Um, when?" I asked with a smile, pushing my hair around on one shoulder. He lightly fingered it admiring the length.

"Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow then," I nodded my head.

"But stay. I want to talk." His hopeful voice called.

"If we talk it all out tonight what will we discuss tomorrow?" Unconsciously I bit by lip and his eyes were immediately drawn to the action.

"I don't know that I can wait that long…"

"Just a day silly. Come, walk me to the door."

I stood and grabbed my purse and doubled back. He was still sat on the couch watching my small movements. On it's own accord my hand reached out to take his in mine.

We stood at the doorway and a war seemed to rage in his mind before he asked, with wild eyes, "Can I kiss you?"

If someone made a portrait of relief it would have been my exact facial expression at that very moment. I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

"You don't have to ask," I exhaled.

"I intended it to be a motion of gentlemanly – whatever…" he stepped closer, wrapping an arm about my waist.

"No need to be so form – "

We were kissing. We kissed so hard I braced myself against his closed front door. His hand rested tenderly against my cheek despite how hard we were kissing.

Too soon he stopped and pulled away to rest his head against my forehead.

"Are you sure you won't stay?"

"I've no right to ask, but give me one more night?"

He stepped away letting his hand slide down my arm. "Don't ever stifle what you need. Go love, before I kidnap you," a smile graced his features.

I took the chance to lean into him in a slight hug before stepping away. I knew everything I needed to do, but I could take this. Just this. Just tonight.

"Goodbye Matthew."

"Till tomorrow darling."

He waved and I gave him a show – swaying my ass for him to enjoy. I heard the sound I had longed for. A dark chuckle that burst through his kiss drenched lips and it stuttered my heart. We could do this. We could make _next_ the very best.

* * *

 _ **A/N:** Prayers for The Keys and the rest of FL this storm 3 If you're anywhere near it or have family near it you're in our prayers as well. I'm hunkering down writing The Date._


	7. The Date

_**A/N:**_ _We're all safe here from Hurricane Irma. She knocked down a few bushes, but we're still with power! Hope everyone else finds them safe!_

 _Here's the date with a long awaited M from our very turned on Matthew. He's rather vulgar in the beginning, but mmmmmm. I do believe I like him this way. Poor suppressed sod. Sorry not sorry for Dirty!Matthew. Also, all in his POV. For those Geo. Nerds – ignore the fact that you have to cross water to get from Cardiff to Bristol unless you want an hour long car ride. I REALLY wanted to do Primrose Café. So I did._ _ **Muah!**_

 _Enjoy darlings! It's a long one!_

* * *

I woke up apprehensive, elated, and horny as _fuck._ The memory of her hair – I wanted it wrapped around my wrist tightly again, such a strange thought. I wanted her locks tickling my thighs.

 _Get a fucking grip Matthew_ – I thought opening my eyes to the too bright morning light.

I stood up and pulled at my boxers, adjusting their rather uncomfortable position. A shower was needed to distract myself from the damn erection I currently battled to aim just to bloody pee. It'd been a long while since I didn't feel the heavy weight of my cock and pay attention to it, but I had a damn date!

I started sudding up my hair, which had grown out since Genisys - a nearly concluded film. Fringe and all once again fell into my eyes.

The eucalyptus body wash I'd recently acquired calmed my muscles that still ached just slightly from all the filming. Although it had been a welcome distraction and there were subtle perks in my strength and overall body. I didn't mind. I slid down my legs and instantly remembered Amelia on the counter at Universal.

She had been fucking glorious… my sweet girl.

"Damnit all to Hell."

The loofa dropped instantly from my hand as I grabbed my cock – stroking slowly as I felt my muscles shift and tighten. I hardened even further pushing through my tight fist only slightly wishing my fingers weren't so long – hers were tiny and I wanted them all over me. But long came in handy when I stroked her as far as I could – fingers buried in a wet pussy – _hers._

A resounding fuck echoed off my walls.

I turned to face my hips into the water, bracing my weak knees by holding onto the wall. She'd be so much tighter, wetter than a steady stream of water. Her scent surrounding me – coaxing my fingers, my cock further, _deeper._

With balls aching at the need to release and cock twitching I slid my hand slower across myself. I brought forward an image I hadn't thought of in quite some time – her throat stretched beautifully with me buried deeply.

I started to come remembering her words, but pushed myself into oversensitivity. I let my cock pulse strongly as I came sans hands, but by body wasn't done. I rolled tight balls softly as if she were cradling them, as they no longer fell heavily between my legs – they were sensitive, sending electricity through my whole body.

I soon grabbed again and groaned deeply, remembering. She had blinked, fucking blinked when my dick was buried in her throat and I'd come watching her throat bob trying to keep up with my come.

"Ameliaaa," I whined to no one – hips jerking erratically.

And came again, pushing and pulling at an aching cock. My thighs quaked as I came down panting. I released myself slowly, shivering as I did so, and let the water erase the traces of orgasm away.

 _God, sweet girl, always so beautiful…_

Hissing, I toweled off and dried my body, cock once again heavy between my legs.

I couldn't just masturbate all day – I had a date!

Leaving the house put me in a state of extreme excitement to finally see her. We'd get _there_ – I mused.

"Matthew, I may have lived here for 6 months, but I don't know where everything is!" She exclaimed.

We'd chosen to take my car and I reveled in the feeling of once again being able to hold her hand as I drove.

"Yes, but what kind of date would I be if I simply let you win on everything and left no surprises for you to find?" It was a cheeky response, but warranted.

She huffed in feign annoyance as a rebellious lock of hair fell back from where she'd blown it.

 _Hair, wrists._

"Road, Matthew."

"Mmm, you brilliant girl."

She smiled as I pulled into a parking space. Sat in front of a domed building I watched her try to fit the puzzle pieces together. I'd managed to stump _her._ She only looked at me with question in her eyes after a tick.

"A planetarium!"

She laughed brilliantly, bright teeth shining with happiness and innocence. "I actually didn't know they had those here! You're incorrigible!"

"Ay, my middle name dear!" I hopped out quickly and went over to her side of the car – opening her door and offering her a hand.

"Milady…"

She simply blushed prettily and took my outstretched hand twining her fingers with mine.

The parking lot wasn't desolate, but I was happy for the small gathering of cars there. We walked across the pavement as her eyes floated above us like she couldn't believe she was seeing this August sky again. I imagine it was quite hot in Florida at the moment, but she was in a sundress, still able to wear a light sweater. Her hair swayed around her face like leaves of a tree, but she caught it and pushed it over one shoulder as we stepped up to the front door. I'd realized I'd meant to survey more of the property, but couldn't get enough of surveying her beauty.

I gestured for her to walk in with the hand I'd been holding, and at her pout of my letting go soon grasped her hand once again – kissing her on the side of the head.

The front desk lady didn't look up as we approached so I rocked on my heels a bit.

"Hello, showing for two? Should be under Smith."

Her surly face let me know she had no idea who I was and an audible sigh of relief nearly escaped my mouth.

"Starts in 20," she said placing the tickets on the desk. Not another word.

"Thanks then!"

Amelia and I all but skipped down the hallway trying not to laugh. And I was thankful the stardom had died down a bit after they'd announced Capaldi. Amelia had been with me for the last day of filming and for the Christmas episode, thankfully. I couldn't have gotten through that without her. We entered the already darkened theatre and I turned my phone off willing that I wouldn't get a call from the Genisys producer. It was over in just under a week and I just wanted to be with _her_.

She squeezed my hand as if she knew what I was thinking and I took her waist before she could actually sit down next to me. She plopped down on my lap instead, facing the big structure in the middle.

"Nope, little one." I whispered against her neck.

There was no one in here, no one to be weary of. I just wanted contact.

"Matt! We can't!"

She was helpless and she knew it. I ran my hands under her dress just lightly, not daring to go above mid thigh. We weren't _there_ yet. Well, she wasn't. I absolutely was, but she needed time. This was just fun flirting.

"Ah, but we can. There's no one even in here love," I replied grinding my growing cock against her. _Not the best pants to wear Matthew._

She wiggled slightly on me before totally shifting and turning round front. Her hands carded into the hairs at the base of my neck and I groaned, grabbing her hips and pulling her forward more as I slid to slouch a bit more than necessary in the seat.

"But you're…"

"But I'm…"

"God, this is fast, but I've missed it so much," and she kissed me. She kissed me like she had all those months prior to her departure. Kissed me like she was siphoning a lifeline from me.

She dipped her tongue ever so slightly between my lips and I caught a taste of her before she pulled away, ducking her head to fall at my neck.

"Mmmph, you taste of cinnamon and vanilla. Devine, sweet girl," I replied thrusting helplessly once into her ass that settled right above my cock.

"Where did that come from? The um… nickname?" She asked breathlessly.

"The first thing that came into my head the night I saw you at the Gala…" It was true, but not completely honest. I'd also thought that stroking my cock in the shower imagining her wrapped around me in the shower and stroking her hair – complimenting her superior sucking skills with a _sweet girl_.

"Hello ladies and gentleman…"

She giggled; _fucking giggled_ and then made to move off of me. "Please, just stay put, like this?" I pleaded. Her warmth felt so good.

"But then you can't see…"

I wrapped my arms around her as she settled her back against my chest and willed my dick to calm the fuck down as I rubbed circles on her stomach.I had to _make_ myself look up at the pictures of the night sky and not the rise and fall of her tight chest.

"I have everything I need to see right here," I replied quietly in her ear.

As the show began our presenter began in a calm voice. He spoke of how the night sky appeared to Earth, and showed the night sky from other points in the Universe and even time. Astrological facts and stories passed slowly, but flew by at the same time across the ceiling of the planetarium. Amelia gasped at some, wiped her eyes at a few, and when it was all finished managed to slow her heartbeat to the exact rhythm of the music.

We stayed a few moments after everyone had left – a peace settling over us both.

I was just about to have her move, but she surprised me whispering against my lips and then kissing me soundly.

"I fell for a space man."

I cradled her to my side, but did not speak. Perhaps I was overwhelmed to have her back in my arms again? Whatever it was I kept moving with her in had at a slow pace towards the door. When we stepped outside she stepped in front of me, placing a hand on my cheek that I easily leaned into.

"You never cease to amaze me. That was truly wonderful," she breathed out with all honesty and love.

"I'm glad you enjoyed," I smiled.

We spent the walk to the car quite quiet as I kept my head down for any potential fans to recognize, but we made it safely.

"That's not quite it though yet, is it? We still have a lunch to attend. Do you mind sitting outside?"

"No, not at all. August is much more enjoyable here."

I rolled down my window and we drove a few miles across Bristol Planetarium to Primrose Café. I took her hand once again as we walked across the street to the café door – a hostess stood smiling outside, a stark contrast to the woman at the Planetarium.

"Mr. Smith," she said rather quietly, but still excitedly.

"Hello," a quick glance at her nametag, "Kirsty. Are there any seats on your roof garden by chance?"

She nodded a little to enthusiastically and Amelia curled herself closer to me. I laughed and obliged as Kirsty told us to follow her.

"Your waiter will be right with you, Sir."

"Thank you very much," I replied. She lingered a bit too long, but I simply took a that opportunity to look to Amelia who looked as if she was caught between smiling at the poor girls crush or pissed the girl even considered looking at me.

"Why don't you look at the menu, love. She won't be back," I suggested casually.

"Mmm, sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry for Amelia. I find it… endearing," I replied taking her hand across the table.

"It's not – it's territorial and weird."

"Hush, find out what you want you mad girl."

We both shook our heads and looked at our menus. I already knew what I'd order, but I gave her the benefit of being able to look to hers without me gawking at her and checked the wine list. She was still mulling over the menu when I looked up, but was now biting her lip. She'd surly be the death of me.

"The Deluxe Fish Finger sounds classically amazing," she said finally releasing her lip.

"Mmm, it's amazing. This place is famous for sourcing locally as well."

"What're you getting then?"

"That'll be the Pulled Smoked Chicken I do believe."

"Welcome to Primrose! What can I get the lovely couple today?"

Our waiter had approached and I was happily relieved to see a man. As much as her apparent jealousy warmed my heart I wanted this to be enjoyable for her.

"We'll start with the Picpoul de Pinet. And what would you like to eat sweet girl?" Yes, I'd purposely decided to speak fluent fucking French because it would make her decidedly wet. The way I liked her.

"I…um… I'll have the Deluxe Fish Finger sandwich, no tomatoes please, with the sweet potato wedges as well," she replied.

I snickered slightly as she stuttered through her order, but composed myself.

"On Hobbs House or Granary luv?"

"Granary, please."

"Of course," he jotted down her full order and turned to me. "And you sir?"

"I'll have the Pulled Smoked Chicken, with the wedges as well, please."

"I'll return with your wine. Salad alright for the appetizer?"

"Yes."

He nodded politely and walked off to place the orders.

I turned to Amelia who was starting intently at me like a thought had suddenly crossed her mind. Hoping it wasn't troubling I probed.

"What are you thinking?" I took her hand from across the table and her eyes flitted to our clasped hands back to my eyes.

"Couple." One word.

"Yes couple…"

"Are we?" We both began at the same time, laughing only momentarily. I motioned for her to begin, not trusting my own voice as we sat.

"I'd love nothing more than to be again… but I fully well understand if it's not –." She stopped short.

I inhaled knowing my thoughts on the matter. Had known since she got back I suppose.

"Did we ever really end? I never stopped thinking of you, wishing I could only just call on you."

"I wanted to call so many times, but I thought you'd…"

 _Moved on, left, quit caring – what love?_

"Never what?"

"Here we are! Wine and salad," our waiter announced. It truly wasn't his fault, but Amelia ducked her head hiding her face behind her hair like a veil of protection.

 _Gods, had she really thought…_

"Thank you," I told him quickly and slid her salad towards her. "Here, duck in dear."

We ate for a few moments in silence just watching the people below. I gave her a few moments to recover and waited for her to look at me once again. She did just as she licked a droplet of dressing from her bottom lip.

"I never would have let you go if I knew you'd suffer virtually alone. I could've been there…"

"I never gave you a chance Matt," she replied regrettably. Her eyes welled up quickly, but no tears fell as of yet.

"Please, don't cry. I couldn't bear it here. I want to do this, I do," I said motioning between us. _This talk._ "But I don't want to do it here. Not where I can't…"

 _Hold you. Kiss you. Wipe your tears away._ It all went unspoken.

"Then tell me something, anything. What did you do in the meantime?" She asked sniffing and stopping the emotional flood that was about to reign like a tsunami over us both.

"Genisys," I replied smiling.

We talked about the training involved to become Alex and agreed we'd _have_ to have a movie night. That I knew she wouldn't let me down on as much as she knew I hated watching myself. She regaled me with talk about how anxious J had been to get her back to Lutwidge. So much so that he gave her a new office. I scoffed at her telling her it was just her charm before winking.

And all too soon lunch was over. However, my phone rang and I gave her my card to pay.

"Tip whatever darling," I said apologizing with my eyes.

"Hi, Smith here."

"Smith!" Lussier exclaimed.

"Hullo, mate. How are you?"

"I'm good. We're almost wrapping up here. Just wanted to check if you'd be joining us in America for the end of filming party? Everyone had a blast with you." He was one of the writers and kindest men I knew.

"I can't, no. She came back if you catch my drift," I replied happily.

"No worries man. I hope we get to work together once again. You did Alex good justice. Go get your girl. We're all happy for you here."

"Thanks man." We hung up and I took a moment to look at Amelia from across the landing. She was sat on her chair, hair framing her face as she filled out the check, and flowers behind her. She was beautiful and she was _back_. It was all worth it.

I stepped behind her chair and swiped her hair around one shoulder. "Come, lets' get you home. I have a few loose ends to tie up, but Rob mentioned dinner if you'd like? They're leaving next week."

She nodded and took my hand as we drove in a companionable silence back to her flat to separate before going to dinner with our two closest friends. I felt like I could take the offer only just now. Having been terrified I'd eventually lose my shit and chase her down to America before, but I could do this with her by my side.

"Hello, yes. It's Smith. I'd be delighted to do Parsons!"

* * *

 _ **A/N:**_ _I took some liberties with geography of Bristol and Cardiff. Right now we're in about August with our loves. I'm attempting to get this as close to actual filming as possible. Genisys ended filming just as Amelia got there. Matt is going to pick up filming for PPZ (amazing film fyi). Next chapter is just fluff filler really. Just a little fun between our two loves._

 _Leave M &A some love!_


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